The gym.
In the early days of 2020, after returning to the area following a soul crushing divorce and moving in with an old friend, this generic word gym began to be inserted into daily conversations—several friends and acquaintances seemed familiar with “the gym” and all had positive things to say. The word and schedule made it to the whiteboard on my friend’s refrigerator after I had asked for a little information about her routine. It was and is a priority for her which at the time seemed a little unusual—it isn’t often we see a person place their wellbeing at that level of importance. I get it now.
I'd heard anecdotes about Sean’s personally curated music battles, the fun vibe of Alicia’s classes, Kim’s boundless energy, and Colin’s insistence on correct form. I'd heard about Jeans Challenge, Superhero, and boxing. Kerry Taylor, the owner, got his introduction when I finally asked for the gym’s name—212 Health and Performance.
It was explained to me that Kerry chose the name by applying the metaphor of the accumulation of energy in water—how with an increase of only one degree, from 211 to 212, that energy had the power to transform water from hot to boiling. Incremental changes compound over time and become big, just as a single degree in temperature can change water to vapor.
In the summer of 2018, after several years of working at breakneck speed to care for a family, home, and career I found myself broken. It took nearly four years to resolve all the legal issues, in addition to experiencing a protracted grief over the loss of my family, home and any future I might have imagined. A cruel silence began to envelope me. From that day in 2018 until I finally was able to move in January 2020, I was alone 24/7. It was a time full of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and heartbreak.
Over the course of those 17 months, I ignored my physical health—sitting for hours, overeating, oversleeping—anything to avoid feeling the intensity of what was happening. We often talk about mental health and how to care for it, but this was far beyond that. This was mental illness. I had found myself in a life-threatening situation and my brain was doing its absolute best to process what had happened and to protect itself. The trouble with brains is that all that processing can lead to changes in cognitive and brain structure as well as physical illness- this was not just a short period of anxiety or blues, but rather the kind of severe illness that research has shown can take years off your life. YEARS. The kind that has been shown to be directly correlated to the development of dementia, diabetes, and heart disease. The data is unclear as to whether or not these are inevitable consequences, but physical activity-particularly activities that challenge the brain to learn new skills, improve body composition and foster a sense of community and purpose- are essential to mitigating negative effects.
Everyone reacts to traumatic situations differently. My reaction was to freeze and the more I stayed inside and closed myself off to the world, the tighter the grip anxiety had on me. I developed new fears out of old anxieties, cried endlessly and broke 3 teeth. Even trying to avoid life by sleeping didn’t free me of nightmares--the urge to sleep was interrupted by crippling insomnia. This was my situation when I was finally free to move and began hearing about “the gym.”
I was determined to figure out a way to recover and did my best to adhere to medical advice, but as we are all aware, the Covid-19 pandemic brought with it loss and disruption for which none of us was prepared. Only a month after we began to understand the true seriousness of the situation, a good friend, still in his early 30’s and with two young children, contracted the virus and died. This was both tragic and terrifying. Covid had known risk factors which I wanted to avoid, creating a strong desire to return my body to a state of health.
In the spring of 2020, I met Sean who signed me up for a basic membership and a few small groups to start. My body was in such bad shape (not only from weight gain, but from lack of movement), and getting started was difficult. I’m minimizing—it was HARD AF. Thank goodness for the team’s patience because consistency was a big hurdle. I was mentally and physically exhausted, but as Kerry’s metaphor illustrates, little changes add up. At some point in 2021 I had decided classes were not for me and upgraded my membership to unlimited small groups. I was getting better with consistency, and for a long while seeing Sean or Kerry for a small group was the only activity I did in an entire day. I will say that working with real life athletes was intimidating at first, but there are no better people to disabuse that notion. They made me feel like I belonged. The resulting improvement in my mental health was so marked, that my doctor strongly advised that I continue with small groups as part of my recovery. We were seeing positive effects in real time, and I could not afford to save money at the expense of my health.
I tell people that 2022 was a year of transformation for me and that is the truth. I began boxing with Heather and, despite a couple of setbacks, kept progressing in my small groups. It felt like every pound of weight, amount of time or number of reps added made me physically and MENTALLY stronger. I began taking more risks, being just a little bit more self-assured each week. Combined with good medical care and the support of some incredible friends, the end of 2021 and 2022 saw me through the finalizing of legal matters, a part time job, my own apartment, and becoming ready, not only to return to full time work, but to change careers entirely. My self esteem and physical health have gotten exponentially better all because I took that first step into 212 Health and Performance, and I credit Kerry, Sean, Heather, Alicia, Colin, and Kim for providing me with something measurable, achievable, and personal which was instrumental in getting me to this exciting new chapter in my life. I love you guys—THANK YOU!!!
