Reframe Your Mindset

by Kerry Taylor

Today as I was waiting in line to purchase another LOL Surprise Baby Doll for my mini-me, Adrionna, I started to tune in to a conversation that was happening around me. At first it didn’t mean much to me, but after I left the store and started driving to my next destination, I replayed their conversation in my mind. You would think the lady leading the conversation had the worst life in the world.


“I can’t meet you later because I have to go to my son’s football game.”

“I have to go to work tomorrow or I would meet you out for lunch.”

“I have to…..”

All said in a melancholy tone.

 I think you get where I’m going with this, the list seemed to go on and on. Granted, her stress level was probably high because she was overwhelmed by the list of things she felt she had to do. It got me thinking, how we frame things in our own mind will help how we think about everything. This may not be a new concept for you, but let’s look at the comparison of “have to vs. get to”. I guarantee if she changed her words around her stress wouldn’t be so crazy. She wouldn’t feel so melancholy and drab about the situation. If she replaced “I have to” with “I get to”, the feelings and frustrations towards these things would be seen in a different perspective.  The effort she gave, the excitement in her voice would completely change. I mean, we always have the choice in what we do, albeit some are tougher than others, but they are choices nonetheless.

You don’t “have to” go to work on Monday, you “get to” go to work on Monday, and not be the person on the side of the road freezing their butt off because they fell on hard times in their life.

You don’t “have to” workout or eat healthy, you get to workout and eat healthy, so you can be active with your kids and friends and live a long life. You could have been born with a disability or have been in a major accident that would not allow you to be active or workout as easily as you can now.

Things differently.jpeg

I don’t “have to” write this very large check to the contractor. I “get to” write this very large check to the contractor, who improved our business space to make our members and team happier and prouder of the space they get to workout in.

Remember, we always have a choice in how we think, look at, and feel about things. You can decide to frame it in a negative way as if you are obligated to do it, the “I have to” mindset. I guarantee you most people won’t want to be around you if you have this mindset all the time. I know I won’t. Or, you can decide to frame your mindset in a positive way and see everything as an opportunity you have or earned, the “I get to” mindset. It’s completely up to you. Experiment on yourself and see what you say on a daily basis in conversation, take a tally, see how you feel when you say it. Then in the future, start to reframe it and see how you feel towards it. I guarantee you will feel better about things in your life. Until next time, continue to live life 1 degree above the rest.