I Want to Burn Out

by Colin Aina

I'm in the process of getting rid of my TV. This isn't a 180 degree, abrupt decision..it's been a long time coming. I'm not doing it for the sake of self-imposed ignorance because I don't want to "hear about all the bad stuff going on in the world". Quite the contrary; I get all of my culture, social, and world news via National Public Radio. I'm partial to the Boston based WGBH outlet as opposed to RINPR or WBUR from Boston. Yes, I will miss reruns of Seinfeld on TBS, but over the past few years I don't get home in time for them anyway.

I did partake in some of the more recent cult shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, etc., but lost interest after a few seasons. I've come to find much better, educational and non-fictional content on YouTube. Yes when YouTube arose, it was a medium where anyone could put up anything they pleased. Yes, there's a ton of useless shit on there, but I've also found some inspiration (It's not as if I'm spending hours on YouTube either). There is a lot of useful content and if you have a query, someone will probably have a video on how to remedy it;

Want to be a bad ass at single leg deadlifts??!! 

No equipment? No gym? Pressed for time? Get a great workout here..

I was unaware until a few weeks ago about a 63 minute, time-elapsed video of a man building a log cabin by hand and with no power tools in the forest of Ontario. He clears 60 trees, debarks them, and drags them to the site where he builds this amazing cabin BY HAND. 

I've always been intrigued by people that can create tangible things and found this video very soothing and relaxing, albeit fascinating. After watching it I thought to myself, "Wow..I'm really useless!" At the end of the film he talks about his drive and motivation to build the cabin this way and went on to say how, at this point in his life, he doesn't want to waste time, and he wants to get as much done in a day as he can while doing what he wants to do. He then says something that stuck with me.. "I want to burn out". I, too, have been accused of doing too much and that I need to slow down. I'm not talking about over training (that is a problem), I'm talking about always having something going on, an activity, spending time with friends, being outside and not racing home on a Sunday night because a certain TV show is scheduled. For me though, I find a mental stability in physical activity and testing myself.... as I have done since I was young. I guess I still have a competitive side that lives strongly inside me despite being "retired". I don't want to spend my remaining days relaxing, sitting around, or on a beach. I've even had companions mention, "You would be really good at golf". A. too slow and B. I have enough expensive hobbies.

For me, I find comfort and stability knowing that I have my whits and will hopefully have the physical ability to still do what keeps me sane until I push up daisies.