by Sean St. Onge
When you habitually provide the solution to a problem to someone and your advice, as a professional, is not heeded.
It really can become maddening because your initial intentions are to aid and assist in a problem that you were sought out for. If the advice is not taken, or worse, it is done haphazardly, it reflects to the professional that they did not relay the message with enough importance.
It can be one thing if the expertise you have provided is just misconstrued.
But what is more annoying is when someone asks the question and you, as the pro, do not provide the elicited response they were looking for. Thus, wasting everybody's time and breath.
An example I can provide would be here at 212 Health and Performance. I am often sought out for my time spent working with clients on soft tissue release. All too often, due to the nature of soft tissue release- it is not exactly the best feeling in the world, especially if the client has disdain for using SMR (self-myofascial release) tools P-Knots, foam rollers and the like- when there is pain somewhere on their bodies, they come with the question, "How do I fix this?"
I am now usually responding with, "You are not going to like my answer."
So we would go through a myriad of examples of how to fix the problem and there is always "homework" so to cover all the ground and not allow the problem to arise again, or better yet, so if the problem does crop back up, they would literally have a "how to guide" on what specifically to do for themselves.
What happens next is well...you know what happens next.
Coach: How are you feeling?
Client: Ehh. The same. My knee still hurts.
Coach: Have you been performing the drills we worked on together?
Client: ****silent pause**** No...
Coach: (see below)
Going forward the phrases, "with all due respect" and the ever-popular, "just sayin'" should be prefaces before eliciting a professional's opinion.
Client: With all due respect, I fully intend on listening to you, just for today, but in the future I will ignore all of your efforts.
Coach: That's fine, but remember when you ask again the answers to your issues will be the same, just sayin'.
So What Really Grinds My Gears is:
If you wish to ask a question from your local pro, please heed their advice and attempt to practice what we teach. There is nothing wrong with varying opinions at all. We all share a collective amount of expertise and not one of us would be upset if you got a different opinion. We are not all-knowing and omnipotent. But as goofy as we look an as silly as we may be, you come to us for a reason (besides entertainment in my case), and it is our knowledge and time to SERVE you the best way we can.
And that is What Really Grinds My Gears.